no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
