i think i scared a bird with my dick
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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