I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
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Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
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I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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