I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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