I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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