Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
