I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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