i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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