Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Are my feet made of real feet?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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