ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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