he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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