I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I'm just crazy horny about you
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
