this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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