I have demons in me.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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