that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Panties = found
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
