we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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