I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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