Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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