my mouth tastes like poor choices
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
