did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
