sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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