Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
