Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize