Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
