does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
