Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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