I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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