I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Green mimosas i think yes
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
