dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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