its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
