HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
