just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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