So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Drunk is not a location!
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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