Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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