WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Just high enough for therapy.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
