did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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