I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
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