Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
