my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
