the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
