your thong is hanging out like whoa
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize
