Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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