im drinking this country out of the recession.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
She's the barista slut.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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