I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
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