i permit you to call me
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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