its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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