i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...