Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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