i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize