The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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