yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
