What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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