I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize