I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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