before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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