wanna go halves on a baby?
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize