Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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