Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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