Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(850): View more from Florida

The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.

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(845): View more from New York

I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring

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(773): View more from Illinois

There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.

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(630): View more from Illinois

When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.

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If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
Read it at the TFLN blog
(415): View more from California

they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..

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(203): View more from Connecticut

And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?

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(541): View more from Oregon

Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.

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(650): View more from California

Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone

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