remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.