i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.