The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
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they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
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I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone