hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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