office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
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Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
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